6th Grade Safety Policy: Bi Sexuals in the Classroom

I received an email that was meant for someone else.  Here is what it said, followed by my reply.

On Wed, Oct 11, 2017 at 10:49 AM "F" wrote:

Good morning K,

During group work today G came over to our new student A and told her that she was “bi sexual.” I talked to G and she admitted this to me also stating that A asked her, I talked to our new student who confirmed this. I told the students about safe school policy and that we can’t have conversations about this at school including crushes.

I am wondering how you want me to proceed.

Thanks, 

Mr. F.

6th Grade Teacher

X Elementary

Mr. F,

As a gay woman who was surrounded by homophobic societal norms that caused me to suppress and deny my own truth for decades, I would love to have a conversation about this. However, the email was intended for someone else. I do not have a child at X Elementary. I suspect that my views on the matter are easily dismissible since I do not have a vote. 

However…Consider that the leading cause of suicide among teens and pre-teens is the feeling of isolation and loneliness.  This incidence increases dramatically for children who identify as LGBTQ. Safety is not found in isolation. It is in acceptance and love. 

A "safe" school policy does not include one where our children are taught to only define themselves in ways that are "normal."  Sexuality is a part of being human. Feeling safe in one's own skin starts at a young age, with one's peers and adult mentors. 

Please consider yourself the potential first point of loving acceptance in every child's journey of self-discovery. I guarantee that any child you have in your class who defines themselves as LGBTQ now or in the future will need someone in their lives who they consider "safe" when they face their authentic selves. Are you that person? Or are you someone who is teaching them to hide their own truth?  That is the path to isolation, depression, anxiety and worse. 

With love in my heart for you and those kids,

Angie Babbit 

Mary had a little lamb, Its fleece was white as snow; And everywhere that Mary went, The lamb was sure to go. He followed her to school one day— That was against the rule; It made the children laugh and play, To see a lamb at school. So the teacher turned him out, But still he lingered near, And waited patiently about Till Mary did appear. Then he ran to her, and laid His head upon her arm, As if he said, I'm not afraid,You'll keep me from all harm.

Common Threads, Parasitized

1960s Gymnastics for Housewives

Imagine for a moment an isolated town somewhere in the Midwest.  It's one of those places where the phrase "you can't swing a dead cat without hitting someone you know," just goes without saying.  And, if you can't find something you want at Walmart, you can't find it at all.  Now picture the women in the community -- mostly high-school educated, married and with kids by their early 20s.  The women deal with children all day.  Admittedly the kids make them a little crazy.  Some of them even take care of children of working moms.  So, they find adult conversation and sympathetic shoulders to lean on at church, at moms' luncheon groups (if they got the invitation and will sign a form that says they're Christian) and the library.  These are the threads that hold these women together:  children, housekeeping, self-care, God, shopping, stories, and food. Occasionally, a stay-at-home dad joins the mix, but he is prohibited from joining the "MOMs group," not because he wouldn't sign the form, but because it's for moms, of course.  He is particularly lonely. 

Now maybe the families fall on hard times, or maybe the outside stimulus of the church, etc. just isn't enough, so the women start to look for other ways to keep busy.  They go online and research how to be a better house cleaner, or a more frugal coupon snipper, and give a presentation about it at one of the luncheons.  They, and all their friends, join list-serves like Flylady.net and krazy coupon lady.  They get weekly emails about how to shop without spending money, or which room they'll clean next, and feel good about their spotless kitchen sink and extra cash.  And they will never again want for Crest or Suave.  But some of them need to make a little money to boot.  Working from home is the only option, really, because getting a job in this small town wouldn't be profitable after paying for child care.  There is a vast array of options for women who want to work from home.  They can sell cosmetics, fragrances, jewelry, scrap-booking supplies, cookware, candles, children's books, Christian products, food kits, and on and on.  And they have a perfect target audience!  All those sympathetic moms they met at church, etc.   You know, the ones who are also working from home, selling products that were made for women to sell to other women.  Products that focus on children, self-care, housekeeping, God, shopping, stories, and food.

1960: Sales representatives in "spacettes" costume pose
before the rocket entranceway of Tupperware Home Parties Inc.

Now, we're getting somewhere.  After some initial purchases, the income starts flowing.  House parties are booked, and the women are seeing each other more frequently, and making profits off of one another.  If a woman started out lonely, she is suddenly finding ways to get people out to her house (which is spotless after all that help from Flylady).  Emails go out to every female in her address book:  friendly ones that encourage a blessing be shared, and business invitations.  She might even pretend to be someone's friend, just to get her to come over and buy something.  There's no obligation, of course, but everyone feels a little sorry for her and spends more than they intended.  She baked those brownies, after all.  The stay-at-home dad may feel ostracized, but at least he is parasite-free.   

The intended goal wasn't parasitism, but that's the effect.  Not soon enough, they realize (or do they?) that they have alienated some people.  An entire room of their tiny home has been overtaken by this product, and they are spending more time on sales and less time on socializing and community.  Some of them even bring their products to the moms' luncheons.  The diminishing returns must be dealt with:  either turn up the heat or get out of the kitchen.  Some find that they can make a small profit from a few clients who were once considered friends, but who are now more interested in talking to them about the next fix than about their problems.  And, what they really need is someone to talk to.  Someone who wants to sit down and just talk about children, self-care, housekeeping, God, shopping, stories, and food.

My Earth Day Sermon -- if I was ever asked to give one

I'm about to tell you something that will make a lot of you stop listening, because I will lose all credibility in your mind.  I say this now because I would like to challenge you to hear me out, even if you don't agree with everything I believe in.  Here it is:  I don't believe in Hell.  I don't believe in Heaven for that matter.  As for an after-life, I think that's all about the everlasting human spirit.  We teach those around us to carry forward compassion and love.  We learn from others and stories of those gone before us how we should behave in a society of humans.  And, some of us take words from scripture and use them to learn more about how to be our best, and carry our human spirit forward and beyond our physical being.  And if I'm wrong about Heaven, that's fine.  I do know that we're supposed to love everyone, even our enemy, and if there's a God that loves us that much, too, he wouldn't exclude anyone from Heaven.  But for the sake of this sermon, let's see Heaven as the goodness of the human spirit, and Hell, a place we created on Earth.

Again, I'm not a big fan of Hell.  I do love a good metaphor, though.  After all, what is all language, but metaphor?  Even the simplest words, with little room for interpretation are merely symbols that represent something.  There is no "literal translation" of anything, let alone the Bible, because even the most exact interpretations still have to pass through the filter of the human mind--not only the mind of the translator, but that of every individual in his or her audience.  This is where the variety of human experience blurs all "literal" interpretation .  I find the metaphor of Hell to be so intriguing, with each person interpreting it in a way that tells a story of who they are.  From my perspective, I'd like to suggest that it applies directly to the environment.  I am, after all, an environmentalist at heart.

Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321 ad

Now before I go on, I want to make it very clear that when I'm talking about Hell, that you put aside Dante Alighieri's version, and consider the Bible's.  This Italian, Dante, wrote an epic poem called "Divine Comedy" a long time ago, and the section called "Inferno" has really impacted how people think about Hell.  If YOU think about Hell as a blazing inferno where people are eternally damned, you got your version of Hell from Dante.  However, a quick search the word "Hell" in the New Testament comes up with 15 references, seven of which are in Matthew, three in Mark, one in Luke, two in Acts, and one each in James and 2nd Peter.  All of the New Testament references are a translation of the word Gehenna, which was an actual place that you could visit, if you were alive at the time.  If you want to look it up, find yourself a Bible that provides exact translations (not interpretations of translations) of the Hebrew and Greek.  Go ahead and look in your Bible.  If it's a good Bible, it will have a footnote at Matthew 5: 21-23 that says the word was taken from the Greek for Gehenna.  Other translations of "Hell" in the Bible were originally the words Sheol, Hades, Tartarus, and aion, but my favorite is this place, Gehenna. 

The Tombs in the Valley of Hinnom (Gehenna)

In the Hebrew Bible, the site was initially where apostate Israelites and followers of various Ba'als and Caananite gods, including Moloch, sacrificed their children by fire. They sacrificed their children by fire! Now I told you that this would be a metaphorical interpretation for an Earth Day sermon. Think about it. How are we sacrificing our children by fire in the name of false idols, today?  Not even so metaphorically, but literally, burning away our progeny's future!  In Gehenna, the fires burned night and day, fueled by future generations, just as our coal fired plants, our pistons fire, our guns blaze, and our incandescent bulbs light the way to a very dark future. 

I am also not any kind of  a fan of the God of the Old Testament who sends His wrath down to the earth when He is displeased.  But in my search for material for this sermon, I came across this text in Deuteronomy, which speaks volumes to me about our destruction of our beautiful coal-bearing mountains in Appalachia and elsewhere: 

"For a fire will be kindled by my wrath,

one that burns down to the realm of the dead below.

It will devour the earth and its harvests

and set afire the foundations of the mountains. "

Photos used in animation via NASA Earth Observatory, remixed by @jaiden0

I'm omitting much of the passage in Deuteronomy because it is from the perspective of an angry, vengeful God who I cannot fathom. But it speaks of how we were given all the good things of the earth, and we squandered it. I don't believe God is punishing us for this. I believe in the power of cause and effect, but there it is,  in Deuteronomy. The foundations of the mountains have been set afire, and it makes me sick to my stomach.

From the  Plastic Pollution Coalition on Facebook

So I implore you to root out those false idols that you can do without, to spare the mountains and to douse the flames of Gehenna.   I don't normally give unsolicited advice, but if you've come this far and you're still listening, I might as well push the envelope!  Here are a few suggestions of ways to extinguish those flames that are consuming our children. Don't buy what's cheapest because it's cheapest. Understand why it's cheap first. You can live without single-use plastics such as water and soda bottles. They aren't being recycled and they're killing our oceans and other waterways. Plastics are bad for you, too. Encourage your workplace, city, or state to go single-use plastic-free.  Recycle everything you can.  If you are able, dust off your bicycle, and take it for a ride. Eat low on the food chain. Every step up the food chain loses up to 90% of the energy it consumes, especially if it consumes corn. Boycott companies that are polluting, wasting resources, or using socially unjust practices. Embrace companies that are honestly trying to operate in a way that is fair to the people and the planet, like Fair Trade coffee companies. Bring your own bags to the grocery store or put your purchases directly in your car if you forgot a bag.  Conserve fresh water. The majority of the world's population lives without it every day. Green up your living spaces by planting a garden, or native plants, and by evaluating your home for energy inefficiencies. Learn to live a little less comfortably, and find a new comfortable.

And most of all, love your neighbor, your enemy, the downtrodden and the earth.  We can choose to live in Gehenna, and to destroy the mountains, or we can find a new way that isn't so far from what the Bible has been telling us for thousands of years.